How do you put into words the loss of a 20-year-old missionary? On June 4, 2024, in the afternoon, my daughter called to tell my husband and me that her son, our first grandson, was killed in a car accident while on his LDS mission in the Dakotas. I don’t know how to process this. Tommy, at this time, was perfect.
“Why, God, didn’t you protect him? We need him here to keep us on the straight and narrow. His brothers need him to show them how to increase their physical stamina, faith, and life. His mother needs him because they are best friends. The rest of us needed him because he is Tommy.”
Is my faith shattered? A little bit. Missionaries are not supposed to die while serving the Lord, and my heart is broken. Death, I am counseled, is just opening one door to another opportunity.
How do we get through this? Many emails and Facebook posts are helping, and some are from the people he touched. I find it difficult to look at his pictures without breaking down and crying. We are such a close family that this loss is like losing a part of your heart. I feel like the world is less bright.
My grandson, Elder Gardner, and his mission companion, Elder Kessler, were driving home after a day of missionary work. They were on a lonely highway in North Dakota, 11 miles south of Beulah, ND. A semi was stopped way ahead of them on the road. In front of the semi were many stopped cars, a car that was on fire, and the highway patrol and an ambulance. They did not see a stopped semi on the road, maybe because of the smoke from a car fire, horizon mirages, the sun in their eyes, the semi had no brake lights on, or something else. We will never know. As a result, Tommy and his companion did not see the stopped semi, and they hit at 60 mps. They went under the trailer of the truck, the bumper went through their windshield, and they were killed instantly – which is a blessing.
As an active Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints member, I try to believe in the Plan of Salvation. It helps, but only partially. Here is an excerpt from one of his earlier companions that I am clinging to:
What is the Plan Of Salvation?
With the recent passing of my good friend, Tommy Gardner, I am filled with sadness. However, because of the Plan of Salvation, otherwise known as the Plan of Happiness, my heart is filled with an abundance of peace, joy, and comfort.
The Plan of Salvation is our Heavenly Father’s great plan for us! It answers life’s three biggest questions. Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where are we going?
Where did we come from? Before our mortal life here on Earth, we were Spirits and lived with God before we were born on Earth. This place is called the Premortal Life. In our premortal life, we choose to follow God’s plan. This meant coming to Earth so we could take the next step in our eternal progression. We would receive a body created in God’s image. We would also have agency. Allowing us to choose right from wrong. Experiencing joy and pain, success and failure.
Under God’s direction, Jesus Christ created the Earth. He also created Adam and Eve, the first of God’s spirit children to come to Earth. Adam and Eve transgressed, were cast out of the garden, and were separated from God’s presence. This is called The Fall of Adam and Eve. After the Fall, Adam and Eve became mortal. As mortals, they could learn, progress, and have children. The Fall was a part of God’s Plan for humankind. The Fall allowed us to be born on Earth and progress in Heavenly Father’s plan. Without the Fall, we wouldn’t be here on Earth!
Why are we here? Our life here on Earth is a time to prepare to return to our Heavenly Father! As we learn, grow, and choose to have faith in Him, we are bound to make mistakes. However, our Heavenly Father knew this. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to redeem us from sin and death.
What is the Atonement? Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explains, “The literal meaning of the English word Atonement is self-evident: at-one-ment, the bringing together of things that have been separated or estranged. The Atonement of Jesus Christ was indispensable because of the separating transgression, or Fall, of Adam, which brought two kinds of death into the world when Adam and Eve partook of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Physical death brought the separation of the spirit from the body, and spiritual death brought the estrangement of both the spirit and the body from God. As a result of the Fall, all persons born into mortality would suffer these two kinds of death.” When Jesus Christ was here on Earth, he lived a perfect life and took upon all the sins, pains, and afflictions of the world.
Alma 7:11: “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.”
Moroni 10:33: “And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”
Jesus Christ offers comfort, hope, and healing. His atoning sacrifice is the ultimate expression of His love. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all that is unfair in life can be made right.
Through faith in Jesus Christ and making a covenant with Him through the waters of Baptism, we can all be made clean in the eyes of God. As we continue to follow Jesus Christ and repent daily, we will one day live with our families forever in Heaven!
Where are we going? Death is not the end. When our physical body dies, our spirit lives in the spirit world.
Alma 40:11: “Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the Resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.
The Spirit World consists of 2 places. The first place is referred to as Spirit Paradise. Alma 40:12: “And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”
The other is a temporary state of learning and preparation before the Resurrection. This is known as Spirit Prison. (See 1 Peter 3:18-20) Those who have never had the chance to learn about Jesus Christ on Earth will have an opportunity here. Those who knew of the Gospel yet rejected it will suffer for their sins. They will be allowed to learn and accept Jesus Christ as their Savior.
The Resurrection is the reuniting of our spirit and body. Each of us will be resurrected and have a perfected physical body. We will live forever. This is made possible by the Savior’s Atonement and Resurrection. Once we are resurrected, we will be judged based on what we have become!
President Dallin H. Oaks, First Counselor in the First Presidency, stated in The Challenge to Become the following statement about Judgement, “From such teachings, we conclude that the Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the Gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.”
When we are resurrected, Jesus Christ will be our judge. With very few exceptions, all of God’s children will receive a place in a differing kingdom of glory. John 14:2: “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” All of God’s children will inherit a kingdom of glory whose laws they can comfortably “abide.”
There are three kingdoms of glory: the celestial kingdom, the terrestrial kingdom, and the telestial kingdom. The glory we inherit will depend on the depth of our conversion, expressed by our obedience to the Lord’s commandments. It will depend on how we have “received the testimony of Jesus.” (D&C 76:51)
Tommy Garder was a great man! I testify to you with no doubt in my mind that he is resting in paradise. He left an impact on many lives, including mine. I am grateful for the time I had with him as my companion. He taught me many invaluable lessons. We shared many laughs and great memories that will last forever.
The last time I was able to see him was in Temple, as I spent time with him there just a week ago. I noticed he kept fidgeting with something. I asked him what it was. He told me it was his ordinance worker tag from when he worked in the Temple. He said it was one of the most important things he had with him. Tommy was a true disciple of Jesus Christ. Despite any adversity, he had to deal with. He still chose Christ and to serve Him with all his might, mind, and strength. I am sad because I will miss him. I am filled with Joy because I know this is not the end but the beginning.
The Plan of Salvation, along with prayer, is one of the many things that have brought me peace. Want to learn more? Please message me to learn more about the comfort, peace, and joy that Jesus Christ can bring us when we are struggling!
Fly High, Tommy! 6/4/24
My question: Did Tommy and his companion know this was coming? Did Heavenly Father ask them to prove their love for him by agreeing to change their mission to Heaven? My thoughts today:
Elder Gardner and Elder Kessler. (Perhaps a conversation with God in the Pre-existence.) “Prove you are truly followers of Jesus Christ. I will require you to leave this Earth early. You will not feel pain, but you will not be able to finish your Earthly mission. You will not see your family, hug them, or help them in their mortality. But you will be with me, and your new mission will be to teach those in the Spirit World.
You will see your family and loved ones again, and you will all rejoice and live for eternity in happiness.”
This is the promise from our Heavenly Father that gives us hope and peace and that we will see our loved ones again. When my parents passed away ten years apart, I felt only joy. They had lived good, fulfilled lives, and their pain at the time was taken away from them. Now, they live together, working in Heaven and praying for the return of their children and grandchildren. Did they greet Tommy? I hope, at some point, they can.
This is my hope and testimony. Amen.
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